So, I finally got my application of Kansai Gaidai now I’m so over whelmed with the amount of paper I need to turn in. I’ve gotten a head start, however, in the medical form and getting my blood work done for HIV and AIDS testing, I also emailed my professors for their letters of recommendations. The passport like photos are for sure done….I’m almost there, guys! Still waiting on Gilman Scholarship to come in! After next week, I’m gonna start looking for flights. I’ll keep everyone posted on the progress! Also, for those who are thinking of studying abroad, message me! I’ll try to give advice or we can just talk about how things are going!
"Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have been conditionally accepted to participate in the FIU International Student Exchange Program for the Spring 2014 term at Kansai Gaidai University…”
After constantly checking my email for an update, I finally receive this email from one of the advisers from the Office of Study Abroad. I had a smile on my face that looked like someone shoved a clothes hanger in my mouse (sounds kind of gross, but yeah..)
I got so stoked when I read the email. I’m actually going to study in Japan! I just have to get all the documents and paperwork done and I’ll be there in January! I’m too excited for this!
Apparently, the competition was real tough this semester. I guess many people applied. I am extremely lucky and grateful that I got accepted.
One of the things I am eagerly waiting to find out is if I will receive the Gilman Scholarship to fund it. I’m staying positive and in the right mindset that I’m going to receive a real nice boon from them.
Once I am there, I’ll be starting a different blog on my exploits and adventures there for those who are interested in following. :)
11日9月2013年 水曜日 雨
While I have rediscovered how to be more optimistic and take things less personally, I have also continued to appreciate the the ones close to me who do matter. It seems that it was difficult for me to accept that not every new person I meet is not going to want to put the effort into being my friend (something, for a very long time, I was not used to) or continuing to be my friend. I recently spoke to my Satoko Sensei in regards to filling out a reference form for my study abroad program. The things she had to say about me almost brought a tear to my eye. One of the things that she said that really impressed her was that indeed, I was there to study Japanese for myself and I put so much time in dedication, but I also put as much time and dedication in assisting both the students and the the teacher. With all the distractions that have been going on, I had forgotten to offer help to those who may be behind in the class. This motivated me again to offer any assistance and offer study groups to help them.
It’s the words of those who matter to us that really warm our hearts and gives us the will again to keep our heads up.
The urge to write is what distracts me from finishing the more “important tasks” of the day. The feeling of not being able to continue or proceed to the next thought unless it is written down onto paper is what plagues me.
“What colour are your eyes?” The question came to a surprise to me when she asked me. Is she finally beginning to show a small ray of interest in me? My heart almost skipped at the thought. I hesitated and gave a faint smile. “Brown,” I answered. “A regular ol’ brown.” She gave this sort of disappointing nod. “Mine are too,” she followed up. “They are a common brown. I don’t like them.” She doesn’t like them? I tried to explain that sometimes the average isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I don’t think it went through. “Jorge’s eyes are hazel. They’re very nice.” She continued. I felt a sinking feeling in me and I swallowed hard and i was left feeling genially inferior and somewhat confused once more.
Before I begin, I understand I am not the only one who feels this way and I am by no means trying to pIay the victim game. Instead, I am just writing what comes to mind and then critiquing it myself. I often sense that I am sometimes am not “good enough” to win the friendship of new people with just my friendly personality traits. Those who know me already are those who I have known for several years now and understand me well enough to continue to cherish are beautiful friendship. For new people, however, I always sense I am somewhat socially awkward and repelling. Is it because over the years I have become more introverted that I do not feel like putting in the effort to make a great impression on new faces and instead just expect them to accept me for who I am right away? Is it my initial dull personality or average looks that will deter someone, particularly women, if I casually invite them to a friendly outing? Or is it when they decline, I am merely just taking it to unnecessarily personal and over thinking it? Indeed, the latter seems to be the more obvious answer. However, I will briefly, as briefly as I can, give an example.
I invite a foreign exchange student who I’ve been spending time with, to go to the theaters sometimes if she ever wants to. I told her to simply let me know. This was done once. She said sure. Now, recently I found out someone invited her to go to the movies and she immediately obliged. I felt rather hurt, not so much because I wanted to go with her but instead the general ideal of feeling not good enough. Did I come off to weird? Am I not that attractive or interesting enough to make someone spend time with me outside of school? Again, I know that I am over thinking it and taking it too personal and that is one thing I want to target: how can I learn not to take actions Iike that less personal and disregard it. It’s a question and an issue that needs to be addressed for another time.
5日9月2013年 水曜日 晴空
The majority of the following entries on this blog will compose of personal journal entries of daily events and encounters or anything else that I feel that might be worth noting. Indeed, this may prove quite dull and even quite immature to the readers (my few followers or anyone else who unfortunately stumbles upon this blog), however my main goal is to chronologize my days “unto paper” and assess them in hopes to discover something about myself. I understand this blog may not attract any attention nor do I ask people to comment or (though those are welcome).
What’s prompted me to begin writing these entries at recent events in my life that has caused me to question myself, “what exactly is wrong with me?.” Again, I understand this is not unlike the mindset of a teenager struggling through his Sophomore year in high school, but it is a question that disappears and resurfaces occasionally, yet not often and I feel that I should finally analyze it instead of disregarding it. The reason why I chose Tumblr is because I figured I could put my newly established Tumblr blog to use (after having removed my previous one not so long ago for personal reasons).
For those who do decide to follow this blog and its entries, I thank you. I do not judge anyone, and as such I ask that you do not judge me, or anyone else for that matter.